Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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