I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
