How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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