I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
