Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize