I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
