I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
