gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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