In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
