There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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