Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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  (250): I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can. http://tfl.nu/1tw1
  Replies (16) Good night (3159) Bad night (689)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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  (617): he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant (617): then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him. http://tfl.nu/q2li
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (3676)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

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  (218): it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger. http://tfl.nu/p87j
  Replies (10) Good night (5803) Bad night (1132)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

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  (770): Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave. http://tfl.nu/avq0
  Replies (18) Good night (1172) Bad night (4399)
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  (631): View more from New York

  the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care

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  (631): the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care http://tfl.nu/lqt5
  Replies (7) Good night (3796) Bad night (1118)
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  (510): View more from California

  I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

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  (510): I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/v2uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (2640)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.

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  (518): I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer. http://tfl.nu/11oh
  Replies (16) Good night (3145) Bad night (1285)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4004) Bad night (1687)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.

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  (561): I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company. http://tfl.nu/ywd5
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1113)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.

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  (508): You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston. http://tfl.nu/25jx
  Replies (12) Good night (1179) Bad night (494)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom

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  (815): I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom http://tfl.nu/3qo4
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (463)
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  (286): View more from

  I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.

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  (286): I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face. http://tfl.nu/gle0
  Replies (9) Good night (577) Bad night (206)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?

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  (815): Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure? http://tfl.nu/5vd2
  Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (466)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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  (979): I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him http://tfl.nu/6x5z
  Replies (4) Good night (430) Bad night (220)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (243)

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