1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
