There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
