Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
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Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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