I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
