Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
