dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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