Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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