ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
