he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My vagina just clenched in fear
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