Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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