absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
