I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize