PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
