TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
