I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
