this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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