ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
