i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
