You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
