No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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