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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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