That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
