# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
