I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
