Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
