he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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