just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
