Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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