You're so nebulous sometimes
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
