hell yes lets make some ravioli
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
