It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
