I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
