Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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