Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
