What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I pour the whiskey from now on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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