i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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