just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He did a backflip because drugs
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