I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
