sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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