you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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