is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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