oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
