My underwear smells like fireworks.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
