ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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