Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
