is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
