gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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