doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
