I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
