sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
