you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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