Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
