all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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